Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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