oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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