You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
