so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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