this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize