Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
