my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I woke up under a house in Key West
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