So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
