She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Randomize