There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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