we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
