She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize