I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
