that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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