I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
as a side note pls kill me
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
