i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
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