i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
