Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
