I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
