Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
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