Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
