One girl and one boy is just not enough.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Randomize
