The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
