She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
