i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
