So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
