I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
