There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
We need to feng shui this bitch.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
