im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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