Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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