We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
