you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
