I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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