I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
