I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
