I'm jealous of your bromance
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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