Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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