Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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