Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
