the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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