I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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