That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
