Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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