I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
