remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
