and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Everything about him screamed your future.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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