So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
