I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
