So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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