This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
