im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
