As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm just crazy horny about you
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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