You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
