I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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