1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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