And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
