the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
