It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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