Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
