you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
